Addressing wedding invitation envelopes

The two things American guides get wrong for you

Inner and outer envelopes

In the American convention an invitation goes inside an inner envelope, which goes inside an addressed outer one; the inner carries the informal names and settles who exactly is invited. It is a real and useful system, and it is rare at Australian weddings. If a guide is telling you to buy double envelopes, it is not written for you. One envelope, addressed well, is complete.

The address format

Australia Post wants the last line in capitals, unpunctuated, with the state abbreviated and the postcode on the same line:

Mr and Mrs James Cooper
14 Wardell Road
MARRICKVILLE NSW 2204

Capitals on that final line is the part people skip because it looks less elegant than the rest. It is also the part read by machine, and the current formatting guidance is on the Australia Post site. For guests overseas, put the country on its own final line, in capitals.

How to word each kind of household

A married couple

“Mr and Mrs James Cooper” is the traditional form. “Mr James and Mrs Anna Cooper” names them both, which many couples now prefer. Where she has kept her own name, both go in full: “Mr James Cooper and Ms Anna Reyes”.

An unmarried couple living together

Both full names, one line each or joined with “and”. Traditionally the person you are closer to goes first; in practice alphabetical is fine and nobody is counting.

A same-sex couple

Exactly as any other couple - both names, joined with “and”, in whichever order reads better. “Mr and Mr” and “Ms and Ms” forms are correct if you are using titles throughout, but many couples prefer plain full names, and asking is never wrong.

A family with children at home

Parents on the first line, children on the second, oldest first. Adult children living at home get their own invitation - being listed under your parents at twenty-four does not land well.

A single guest with a plus-one

“Ms Anna Chen and Guest” where you have to. Get the partner’s name if you can; an invitation addressed to a real person is a much better start to the evening than being “Guest”.

A single guest without one

Just their name. The envelope is where the plus-one question is quietly settled, and a name on its own says it without anyone having to have a conversation.

Professional and honorary titles

Doctors, military ranks and clergy take their title if you are using titles at all: “Dr Anna Reyes and Mr James Cooper”, with the titled person first regardless of gender.

Widowed and divorced guests

A widow may still use “Mrs” with her husband’s name, or her own first name - use whichever she uses herself. A divorced guest normally takes “Ms” with her own first name. When you are unsure, ask a relative rather than guessing; this is the one category where a wrong envelope genuinely stings.

The return address

Put one on the back flap. Beyond convention it is practical: it is how you find out an address is wrong in time to do something about it, rather than discovering on the day that someone never got their invitation.

Before anyone starts writing

• Build the list as households. One row per envelope, with the name lines and address parts in separate columns. This is the file a calligrapher or a writing service will ask for, and it is the thing that takes an evening.
• Check spellings against something real. Not memory. Names are the one error nobody forgets.
• Decide formality once. Titles throughout, or first names throughout.
• Order spare envelopes. Ten to fifteen per cent. Mistakes are certain, and matching the stock later is not.

With the list settled you can price the job properly - what a calligrapher charges, and the two cheaper ways to get the same envelope.