Examples

What the finished piece looks like

We are a new business and we are not going to invent case studies or borrow someone else’s testimonials. What follows is the useful half of that page anyway: worked examples of the campaigns people actually run, with the copy structure and the reasoning behind it.

What the finished piece is

A ballpoint pen on uncoated stock, in a plain handwritten envelope, with a real stamp. The ink sits in the paper rather than on it, letterforms vary from piece to piece, and the baseline drifts the way a hand’s does.

Standard formats are A5 and A4 letters, and A6 cards. Envelopes are DL, C5 or C6. Anything Australia Post treats as a small letter keeps postage at the lowest rate, which is worth designing around.

The illustration above is a representation of the layout, not a photograph of a finished piece. We would rather show you a real proof — ask for one.

Four campaigns, written out

Square brackets are merge fields. Every one of these is shorter than the version most businesses would write.

Real estate

Appraisal follow-up

Trigger: Appraised six weeks ago, has not listed, has stopped replying to email.

Dear [First name],

I came through [Street] back in [Month] and thought I would drop you a note rather than another email.

No pitch attached — if you are still weighing it up, I am happy to answer questions with nothing riding on the answer. And if you have decided to stay put, that is a perfectly good outcome and I will leave you alone.

Either way, thank you for having me through.

[Agent name]

Why it works: No offer, no market data, and an explicit exit. It works because it removes pressure rather than applying it, which is the opposite of everything else in their letterbox.


180 pieces · 85 words · handwritten envelope · $3.91 per piece · $773 total

Automotive

Lapsed service customer

Trigger: Two scheduled services missed on a vehicle bought from the dealership.

Dear [First name],

Our records say the [Year] [Model] you bought from us has not been in for a service in a while, and I would rather ask than assume.

If you have found somewhere closer or easier, fair enough — that happens. If something went wrong last time you were here, I would genuinely like to know, because that is the sort of thing I can fix.

Either way, the car is the important part. Give me a call if it is due.

[Service manager]

Why it works: It names the actual car, it invites criticism, and it does not contain a discount. Asking what went wrong gets a response rate that a voucher does not.


2,400 pieces · 95 words · handwritten envelope · $2.96 per piece · $7,814 total

Charity

Major donor thank-you

Trigger: Gave above the major-gift threshold and received a templated receipt.

Dear [First name],

You will have had a receipt from us already, which is a poor way of saying thank you for [amount].

So: thank you. [One specific sentence about what the money did.]

There is nothing to do with this letter. I just did not want the receipt to be the last thing you heard from us.

[Name], [Role]

Why it works: One specific outcome, and an explicit statement that no further action is required. The absence of an ask is what makes the next ask work.


420 pieces · 70 words · handwritten envelope · $3.17 per piece · $1,462 total

Financial services

Renewal defence

Trigger: Fixed rate or policy expiring in the next ninety days.

Dear [First name],

Your [product] comes up for review on [date], which means you will shortly start hearing from people who would like to take it over.

Before that happens, I wanted to set out where things stand and what your options are, including the ones that do not involve staying with us. [Two or three sentences of actual substance.]

If it would be useful to talk it through, my direct line is below.

[Adviser name]

Why it works: It names the date, it acknowledges the competition rather than pretending it does not exist, and it offers something concrete. Handwriting gets it opened before the competitor’s printed pack.


640 pieces · 120 words · handwritten envelope · $3.48 per piece · $2,450 total

Three rules the good ones share

  1. Shorter than you want. Every one above is under 130 words. Length costs money and loses readers, and the discipline of cutting usually improves the argument.
  2. One thing only the recipient knows. The street, the car, the date, the amount. Without it the letter is a template with a name at the top.
  3. An easy way out. “If you have decided against it, that is fine.” Counter-intuitively this raises response, because it removes the thing people are bracing for.

Ask for a real proof

If you want to see and feel the writing before committing to anything, say so. It is a reasonable thing to want and we would rather you saw it.